Caryl Greenberg, MSW, LSW
Speak No Evil
You might remember that I wrote about this topic a couple of years ago; I thought this was a lesson worth repeating. We generally do not think about this but, what words we choose to use matters. What we say has an impact. Words could be encouraging, complimentary, supportive and kind or they can come from a place of jealousy, negativity, be cruel, full of gossip and ultimately create barriers. Can you remember a time when you went 24 hours without saying something negative about someone else? We all do it; its human nature and it doesn’t mean that we are bad people but what will make us better? Engaging in conversation that raises others up so that at the end of the conversation you all walk away feeling good. That is what will make us better. A famous author, Joseph Telushkin talks about words that heal and words that hurt. One bit of advice that he gave that really stood out for me was the following: when you are upset with someone the two words that he said you must never use is ‘always’ and ‘never’. When you disagree with someone focus on the specific issue. Don‘t say ‘you are ‘always’ late and you ‘never’ care about how I feel’…. The better way of dealing with this scenario is something along the lines of ‘Because you were late, I missed the show. I am angry and hurt because it feels like you don’t care about me and my needs.’ When you speak about the specific incident you do not put the person on the defensive, you are not personally attacking them you are simply dealing with the here and now. Because words are intangible, we don’t think about the harm they can do. However, they do harm. Hurtful gossip for example is usually exaggerated to gain the allegiance of the person we pull into our web. Therefore, we are not only criticizing someone but we try to create an ‘us against them’ situation. If we were to walk into a room and overhear a conversation about our character, our wound can last a lifetime. I bet we all have a story to share about that happening to us. So what do you think about our very own ‘Speak no Evil’ day? Keep note of how you do with lifting people up and by the end of the day you will be a better person for it. Lets talk about this- let me know how your ‘personal speak no evil day’ went!
Blue Angel Program Sponsored by the SB Police. A lock box with your key is placed securely on your doorknob, should you need to call 911 for fire or EMT and can’t let in emergency workers in. Getting to you quicker without property damage is the goal for this program. Apps are available on the township website, in the senior center or police station. I will happily notarize this form for you.
All these programs are free as are many others. If you would like to explore which programs, you might like to take advantage of please call to schedule an appointment with me.
Bereavement Group- Mondays, Sept. 24th 10:45 am Anyone who has suffered the loss of a spouse or partner is welcome to attend the monthly bereavement group. Prior bereavement group attendance is not necessary. Please do not be late. Questions? Please call Caryl 732.329.4000 x 7212
Join A Group...
What's on Your Mind
"What's On Your Mind" meets on Fridays at 2:15 p.m. to discuss current events and information that interests you. We welcome new members. You can drop in anytime. Call Caryl for more information.
Monthly Bereavement Support Group
Ongoing support group which meets the first Monday of every month at 11:45. Participants offer mutual support to each other as we share our struggles and grief in a safe non-judgmental venue.
The Senior Center also offers a six week Bereavement Support Group when there has been a more recent loss of a significant other. Please call Caryl for more information.
A weekly group using literature as a conduit for discussion. Participants share thoughts and feelings about what they have read and relate it ‘if applicable’ to their life experience. We meet every Thursday (except the first Thursday of the month) at 10:30 am. Please call Caryl for more information.
VISION LOSS SUPPORT GROUP
Meets the first Friday of every month at 10:30 a.m. in the conference room. This is an opportunity to meet new people, share information and benefit from mutual support.
Veterans age 55 + meet monthly to share stories and strive to re-create the camaraderie that is experienced when sharing a common bond. This group meets monthly on the 2nd Tuesday of each month at 10:45 a.m.
Social Work Services
As more individuals are choosing to ‘age in place’, the senior center offers ‘home visits’ by the Social Worker to the HOMEBOUND elderly. We can provide limited case management services, emotional support and counseling. Many issues include loss, care giving concerns and tensions, coping with health problems, relationship issues, independence, depression, substance abuse, isolation and more. The Social Worker also sees individuals and couples on site. Please contact Caryl Greenberg for further information.
I am now a NOTARY PUBLIC in the state of NJ. If you need something to be notarized, free of cost, to ensure you are not disappointed please call first to make sure I am in.